Video Kellie Pickler -Didn’t You Know How Much I Love You

Merriam-Webster defines trust as: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.

Oftentimes, when we fall in love, it can be because we feel that we can fully trust the other person. However, once that trust has been broken and/or taken for granted it can be quite hard to let that wall back down. Here’s a short list of substantial elements used to build trust in a relationship.

Predictability

Now this doesn’t mean leave out the special little surprises of dinner out or a small gift – but be reliable. Your character should be worn “on your sleeve.”

Belief in Your Partner

If s/he is really that stupid would you have fallen in love with this person?

Honesty

Secrets will destroy any stone set to build trust in a relationship every time.

Forthcoming

Don’t be afraid to make your needs and/or wishes known. If you keep your partner guessing, they might not figure it out and then you’ll be frustrated.

Learn to Say No

Try to accommodate your partner’s needs as well, but if some things just can’t be done, say so.

Grow

Do not be afraid of hurts that may or may not occur. Every relationship has its ups and downs and the down times make the up that much sweeter. Just learn from the hurts and/or mistakes and keep getting closer.

Jim works long hours and Elizabeth doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Elizabeth spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs.  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  The answer to these questions is yes and here’s how to save a relationship.

COMMITMENT

First, the both of you must decide that the relationship is worth saving.  While most every relationship can be saved with a little hard work, there isn’t much that can be done if one or the other has decided that it’s not worth it.  Many will choose to stay in a relationship because of convenience or children, but this isn’t enough.  The first step in how to save a relationship starts with commitment from both individuals that the relationship is worth saving.

IDENTIFY PROBLEMS

Secondly, you need to identify the problem(s) in the relationship.  Now, this isn’t a time to play the blame-game.  This is a time to sincerely and respectfully discuss what each of you view are the problems.  Remember there are three sides to every story:  your side, their side, and the truth.

One of the biggest problems in trying to figure out how to save a relationship is that many believe the symptoms of the problem are the problems themselves.  For instance, some believe an affair is a problem that causes a breakup, when  in truth, the affair is usually a symptom of something deeper, such as a lack of true intimacy.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the relationship.  You might be able to keep another affair from happening through the use of guilt, but If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you begin dealing with the core issues, rather than the symptoms, it is possible to save a relationship.  Once these core issues have been identified, you can begin sharing thoughts on the matter.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.

Hold your partner’s hand while you are talking about your problems.  This will serve as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you, remember that he or she is not doing it because they want to hurt you, rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

ACTION PLAN

Now that the two of you have determined what the problems are in the relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each week.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another; then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Tonight I was working on an article about getting back with your ex and having a confident attitude, which will help your ex see you “in a different light” and it brought to mind this song.  I hope you enjoy it.

Does my ex want to get back with me?  How can I tell?

Is your ex showing you some interest, maybe flirting or wanting to spend time together?   These are definitely signs that your ex has an interest in getting back with you, and it’s okay to be hopeful, but what you don’t want to do is “jump the gun”.

The best way to handle this situation is to play hard to get, in moderation.  You really want to be able to get a feel for what you ex’s true intentions are.  You want to know for sure that your ex really wants to get back with you and isn’t just playing on your emotions as revenge for some perceived wrong.  If you simply jump into things full force, you may find your ex pushing you back again.

Generally, when a breakup occurs, there is an instinctive level of “missing” one another or “longing” to be back together, especially if the relationship was a year old or longer.  Many good memories can be shared in that amount of time, as well as past regrets and hurts.  So if you’re wondering “does my ex want to get back with me,” chances are he/she is asking the same thing and for the same reasons.

However, sometimes there is that unscrupulous ex who begins showing interest just to play games with your head. They may see that you still want or love them, and they may simply just want to get the attention without the commitment. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon or, worst yet, they are just being cruel and using your temporary state of mind as a way to exact hurt for hurt. Hence, the reasoning for not “jumping the gun” and instead feeling out the situation before acting.

So, in short, if you are wondering “does my ex want to get back with me” just play it cool and a little hard-to-get so you can more viably assess the situation and determine whether it’s worth the risk.

Before we talk about ways to get back at your ex, let’s talk a little bit about relationships.  Relationships are delicate connections that must be fed and nourished in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish.  Without proper care, the bond  grows tired and weary, just as your physical body does without the correct nutrition, and begins to break down.

Unfortunately, even in the best of situations, breakups and separations do occur.  They are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating.  If you have recently been involved in a breakup, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex, but is this really the best step to take?

One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you were and are to them.  So not only are these 5 tips an excellent way to get back at your ex, but they are also a wonderful strategy to get your ex back.

1.  BE STRONG

Needy people are exasperating.  Don’t beg, cling or exhibit the behavior of someone who is desperate.  By being strong and allowing your ex to believe you have moved on just fine without them, your ex will realize that he/she has not.

2.  MINIMIZE CONTACT

Closing the doors of communication may appear counter-intuitive when your main objective is to ensure their thoughts are on you, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at, or with, your ex.  So sit back, take a break, shut down communications, and allow your ex to stew for a little while without any contact.  This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize just how important you are.

3.  BE FLEXIBLE

Don’t be demanding with your ex, such as requiring them to move out or pick up their things by a certain date.  This will only infuriate him/her.  Be flexible, listen, and sympathize.  Not only will it perplex your ex, considering the circumstances, but it just might motivate them to build the lines of communication that were lacking and led to the breakup.

4.  HAVE FUN

This is no time to be alone.  Call your friends and get out of the house.  Enjoy some entertainment.  This doesn’t mean you need to date, or even flirt for that matter, just get out and have a little fun with your friends.  Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5.  BE YOU

Do you remember who you were at the beginning of the relationship?  Find you again, your ex will remember that person as well and possibly fall in love all over again.